Jack Kitaka's Collection of Thought Processes...For those who have a problem with freedom of expression.I suggest another planet

I have been spending time hanging out at my mothers house.  I just found out that my Grandfather has 14 brothers and sisters.  My family is so freaking huge that we don't all know each other.  Well we know of each other, but it has been many years.  The family continues to grow larger and to include many peoples, quite interesting the people that I am now related to...  The last family reunion was as a child.  The family has grown double fold since then.  I feel that we need another family reunion.  But, how do you get all of these people to come from all of these countries to see all of the people that they are related to either directly or indirectly?  That is why I want to marry a foreigner.  I don't want to accidentally meet a cousin and have children, that would be sick in my mind.  We are many different names and vary in looks so it would be hard to just spot a cousin if you did not already know.  I was looking at pictures of relatives.  I found out that my aunts husband transcended two weeks before she did.  No one even knew because they had been separated for years, but never got a divorce.  I was talking with one of my cousins.  She says that she wants 7 children, but she has not found the right guy yet, I want 10.  LOL!!!!  I want all of my children with one woman and she feels the same, with one man.  It would be quite interesting to let the genes express themselves and see the many variations.  I wonder how many red heads I will have.  Well that depends on the mothers genes, but that would be cool.  I need a nice strong sturdy woman with good genes.  I have been searching for years for the right person.  It's like trying to find a needle in a hay stack because though I am attracted to many.  I am not compatible with them all.  I have noticed that in other cultures some people resort to marrying within their own families.  I want to broaden my gene pool not limit it or destroy it with genetic disease by marrying a relative.  The broader the better, much more variation that way.  I was talking to a colleague about children and if I wanted to have them. I mentioned the fact that i was helping my cousin move and that she wanted 7 children.  He asked if I planned to marry her.  I told him that this is disgusting to me and in our culture that is forbidden.  He says that in his culture it is acceptable.  Like I said before, I totally disagree with this practice.  He says that he feels it is better to marry a stranger, but it is acceptable in their culture.  I used to be an animal science major and studied genetics a little.  What happens to pure bread dogs when their gene pool lacks variety?  They develop genetic disease and will eventually become extinct. They eventually loose the ability to adapt.  That is why mongrels are better.  I came up with an idea for a new breed of hunting dog.  Their body types are compatible, I just have this feeling that they would make an excellent mix if someone has not already experimented and tried breeding the two already.

P.S.  There is a secret.  I have a secret.  There is a reason why I should have 5 or more children, but I cannot tell.  Well, I don't want to tell.  Also when I said that I wanted to commit suicide and that I possibly may.  No one truly knows what I really mean, LOL!!!!


---Konata Jackson

Time to get back to my studies.  I have been putting this shit off for long enough.  Everyone keeps asking when I am going to take my PSI.  I had not been in the mood quite honestly and also the fact that I have i year to take my exam.  I figured, what is the rush.  As long as I keep it fresh in my mind I will not forget.  But, I have forgotten somethings.  Luckily I still have my practice exams to review along with what I high lighted in my text to keep me focused on the important facts.  I also want to do some more exploring this weekend and take some pictures.  So this weekend will be just chillin at mothers, taking pictures and studying for my PSI. I have to take mine before on of my colleagues.  Now he keeps pushing back the date when he will take his.  I think everyone gets a little nervous about the next step once we pass.  The issue isn't whether I am going to pass or not.  I will pass it.  The thing is what do I want to do next.  I know that I want to become a broker in three years.  I suppose the best thing to do is to just take one step at a time. 

I have been spending the weekends or weekdays for most people at my mothers house.  I missed my neighborhood and just being at my mother's house.  I love being able to just walk out my front or back door and see so many trees...  I spent the day helping my cousin move.  She is tired of living in a co-op and has decided to move back home to stack money. I commend the decision although I know that she will miss having the freedom that she had before. Actually that freedom won't go away.  She has her own entrance and her mother my aunt doesn't ask much to my knowledge any way.  Then again I am her nephew, so I don't know.  But everyone has that thing with their mother.  My uncle saw me today for the first time in a while. He asked if died my hair.  No, he must have forgotten that I was born with red hair, LOL!!!  My aunt replied with oh, I see you are growing your hair again and your red is starting to show, I am paraphrasing...  I am a natural red head, but you can't tell if my hair is really short unless you look, LOL!!!  My natural hair color is Auburn, but I have black, brown, and blonde hairs mixed in there.  When it gets long then you really can tell.  Girls want my color. "Oh, it is so pretty and curly".  That was why I stopped growing it in the first place.  I am more than my hair.  I never really liked getting compliments on my hair, not unless I braid it then it is ok.  When it gets long I just may relax it so that I don't have to worry about the maintenance, but I am not sure if I will yet.  We shall see...

So, this girl does not get it.  She keeps sending child porn to my email address.  I guess she feels the need to fuck with me for some reason.  For the life of me I do not understand what is wrong with this woman nor do I understand her fascination with child pornography.  She says that she was molested as a child and that she was dating someone that was into it so she got into.  That makes no sense to me at all...  There are pictures of women having sex with boys, men having sex with girls, and children having sex with children.  What is wrong with these fucking people????  Man I thought that I seen it all until I came across this girl on the internet.  It was completely by accident.  She contacted me and sent me an invitation.  I thought that she was kinda cute so I proceeded to talk with her. Low in behold she turned out to be a child pornographer. Now she says that she is a lesbian.  I would not be surprised if she is out there some where molesting little girls...  Some of the most shocking pictures are of women performing oral sex on girls and posing with them in very explicit sexual positions.  They have little girls posing like adults.  They have dogs licking the genitals of little girls.  Very few pictures of men doing these things, but there are a few.  I am shocked!!!  This shit really makes me afraid to have children because what if I need someone to watch my child for me and they end up molesting my child.  I would be so pissed. I know that I said that I wanted to find out what the appeal was.  I figured I would just keep talking to her until I got the information I needed to write about this.  Well, she told me her story and it is a troubling one.  Now she is a self proclaimed addict. She says that it makes her stomach turn also, but that is why it appeals to her because it is just so nasty and shocking.  She just can't get enough of it.  Secretly I have the feeling that she enjoys it.  I pushed and pushed her buttons.  I told her exactly how I felt about it.  I don't like it at all.  I pissed her off so much with my words that she said that she no longer wants to talk to me.  I don't care really because I just can't take it any more. What is wrong with being with an adult?  Why do you want to have sex with a child?

P.S.  You know I often wondered why sometimes really young women give me the eye and just sit there and stare at me(They are young women because they have reached sexual maturity, just not mature mentally.).  They probably were molested and have lost that innocence so they go around looking for older partners that will give them sex.  I remember a while ago there was this girl, she couldn't have been no older than 14 or 15.  Well I was on the train minding my business and she just kept staring at me, so I just looked at her because I was wondering why she was looking at me like that.  The girl proceeds to open her legs and show me her crotch, she had on a skirt.  I was so shocked!  Older women have done this and to be totally honest I did not mind, but I did not know how to react to this younger woman doing this to me.  I could not believe that no one else saw her.  Weird...

P.P.S.  Yes, I love to flirt and joke around with women.  Sometimes I can be quite an ass when they piss me off, but really...  There is a line that even I don't cross...  I was talking to one of my colleagues about this shit.  His suggestion was to just leave her alone and stay away from her, not to even communicate with her because she is nothing but trouble.  He says that she is doing it on purpose and I agree.  Why would someone go out of their way to send you child porn especially when they know that you are not into that shit at all and how pissed you get about seeing such stuff.  She is fucking with me on purpose.  She has a motive.  I don't know what it is yet, but I know she does.  Not to sound racist or anything, but I have not seen any people of color doing anything like what I have seen, not to say that there aren't any out there.  I take that back I did see a report on television about some guys in Asia having the girls calling giving oral sex "yum yum".  Oh' and I did watch how to catch a predator and saw a few "black guys".  But, the majority of the child molesters that I see and here about are "white".  Even that girl on the train that showed me her crotch was white(If she were older than ok I would have said hello because I knew she was attracted to me.  It wasn't what she did, it was her age.  I love when women flirt and hit on me.  Equal opportunity baby!!!). I wonder what that stems from?

P.P.P.S.  I saw a statistic that says 67% of child molesters are white while 32% are black.  So I was correct about that.  I am still looking to see what I can find on other classified groups, Asians, Latinos, etc.  Also, I am looking for what I can find about women, but I have the feeling that a great majority of women that molest are never found out or reported.  Perhaps the percentage is higher because more white children are molested than black children and they in turn become molesters themselves.  I don't know, just a thought.  But, not everyone that becomes a molester was molested, so maybe that isn't it.  Even though a great number of the high profile cases that I am aware of were Men or priest on boys.  From what I see a lot of the boys were or are being molested by women or older girls.  The chances of a boy reporting a woman that molest him is very slim.  Something has to happen or someone else has to report before they would ever come forward...  I'll tell a little secret from when I was young.  If you think it is always the boys then you are wrong.  When I was young, it was the girls doing the molesting.  My parents have no idea how many little girls tried to the "nasty"(that was what we called it.) with me before I was ever even interested in sex.  In hind site if I did anything back then and we were caught they probably would have tried to blame me because I am a boy.  I know it always isn't the boy.  He probably is just curious.  It is crazy, but I kept that secret for years...  No names, but someone shared an experience with me that happened to them when they were young.  He said that there was a girl that lived up the street.  They were playing outside when the girl told him to pull down his pants.  She sucked his penis.  Someone told on him and his guardians approached him about it.  He said that he burst into tears because he thought that it was his fault, but he was a child and so was she.  Someone must have molested her.  I am not telling what happened to me.  Let's just say that it fucked me up well into my adult years.  It made me afraid to have sex or get close. Well I am not old, but it took me getting into my 20's before I finally felt comfortable enough to be with a woman without that fear of being touched.  Now you know why I am the way that I am and why it is hard for me to let someone get that close without me pushing them away.  That is why!!!  That is also why I wanted to know why those people are into that shit.  I would not trust anyone around my child if I had one.  I don't blame anyone for what happened to me, maybe she was molested also.  I forgave a long time ago. So, I am never telling.  When people ask about my virginity I lie.  None of their fucking business.  I lost my second virginity at 24 on my birthday.  I planned it but I had no one special to share it with.  I payed for a prostitute.  I admit, I went a little wild after that.  But, I am ok now.  If the girls only knew how good of a person I really am then perhaps they would have been nicer to me, but they thought I was a dog and I wasn't having sex with anyone.  That is also the reason why I can go long periods of time without sex or a relationship.  It never meant anything to me or I never had a need even though I wanted one.  I was afraid to be touched.  I did not like people touching me.  My body would just pull away even though I wanted to get close. It was weird.  I had to put myself in situations to get over that fear.  So, that was why I chose to hire an experienced woman to help me.  She knew that I was a virgin and she helped me.  That is why I also love Asian women. 

P.P.P.P.S. I never learned that whole relationship thing.  When most people were going on dates and things like that at 16 and so on.  I was at home baby sitting and watching my siblings.  So, I missed out on that.  My solution to a girl pissing me off was to curse her out so that she would not want to talk to me any more.  Then I did not have to worry about her getting close to me and finding out that I was new at sex, LOL!!!  Because then I would have to explain why when most people my age have more relationship experience then me.  Most had at least 10 plus years experience and I was just starting out, LOL!!!!  They mistake my words for verbal abuse, no I just am not sure if i can trust you or not.  So, until you tell me everything and I trust you I will push you away until you prove that you really love me.  I give hints and let them know how much I care or like them.  If they don't get it then you are just trying to use me and I will curse you out.  Other than that I am just a big flirt, LOL!!!!

P.P.P.P.P.S.  My African friend reads my blog sometimes.  She says that she thought she knew me, but she realized after reading that she really did not know me at all.  She says that no one truly knows me.  Well not unless they read my blog.  LOL!!!  They don't really know me at all.  LOL!!!  Just joking, sure they do.  I am still the same person.  Just things that you don't know and you never asked. LOL!!!!  But, still some people you can't really talk to, ya know.  You want to know, then read but don't approach me about it or ask me any questions about what I wrote because I probably won't answer your questions.  LOL!!!  I may just bullshit you because I may not want to talk about it with you face to face.  Now don't tell anyone that I am not really a womanizing asshole.  It keeps the bitches away!! LOL!!!!  I tricked them all.  They actually thought that I was a dog, LOL!!!!  What a bunch of fucking sluts, LOL!!!!!  Just joking, I love sluts!!!  They need love too...  I just wanted to see if they really loved me or not, I guess not, but I am ok at least I know the truth.  Me polyamourous, LOL!!!  I am a one woman type of guy, never been a cheater.  But polyamory seems such a lovely way to go.  You don't get hurt.


---Konata Jackson